Vent time...

What is the definition of caring about someone? I'm pretty sure it does not mean that you lie to them, for weeks on end. It doesn't mean making them cry, and having it have NO effect you whatsoever. It doesn't mean that you go out and forget about the person. It doesn't mean that you all of a sudden want to apologize for hurting that person and say that it's killing you. I call B.freaking.S. You didn't care. Don't pretend you do. If you did, you wouldn't have lied. If you did, you would have stayed my friend and wouldn't have given up a best friend for someone like that. (No offense :]) Seriously Drew. Don't make me freaking laugh.

Great Grandma, I thought maybe I should help you out since you mentioned that you didn't ever know who I am talking about. Here's a little synopsis.

Tyler: The guy that I'm currently "writing on a mission." Him and I have been best friends for years, and he liked me for a very long time. He asked me to Junior prom first, which I said yes to. But then I started dating my ex, Nathan. Nathan wanted to go with me so I went back on my date with Tyler and went with Nathan. Tyler is currently in Uruguay for 2 years serving a mission for my church. He's been out for 14 months and still has 10 left to go. During this mission, I'm not allowed to talk to him on the phone, text him, or see him. It is strictly letter writing the whole entire time. I can't even email him. But, that's okay. I still go on dates and stuff, but I really want to date this kid when he returns in October 2010 :] If you'd like, you could think of him as my "boyfriend" I guess, but we aren't totally. Let's just say it's a complicated situation, but I feel as though I need to date him and see where it goes when he gets home so I write him weekly.

Nathan: As I said in the post above, Nathan is an "ex" of 9 months. We were never "official" but we were doing everything that a couple does. He came to school here at BYUI, and cheated on me. 3 times. Bad thing is, I found out from the girls. I met the girls somehow someway, and then they'd talk about Nathan. Then we'd find out that he was dating me, and getting.... with the other girls. He's now on a mission in Arizona, and we don't write much. I lost all respect for him.

Drew: A guy here at school that I met. Him and I became close friends, quickly. He is a Returned missionary. He went on a mission to Canada. He was my best friend and I thought I could tell him everything. He would say that he loved me and stuff until one night, he decided not to be friends with me because he magically got a girlfriend and had been lying to me for weeks. I don't handle lying very well, so we aren't friends anymore. He broke my trust. Stupid boy.

Jon: You met him. He's the one who owned the landscaping company and came to visit me in Colorado. When I broke up with him, he went crazy and depression set in. We've tried to be friends over and over, and it's just now getting to the point where he can handle talking to me. I'm trying to be his friend, but he's still super hurt.

As for girls that I would talk about in the blog posts:

Lindsey, Emily and Carolyn are my roommates here at school.
AnnCheri is my best friend of about 6 or 7 years.

I think that's all I talk about :]

Oh, and grandma, when I say the names Edward or Jacob it's that Twilight movie thing. :] Not actual guys.

I love you family. Can't wait to see you all again.

Guess what made my day?

I was sitting in my room when Carolyn and Lindsey slowly come through the door. They handed me a letter, and I thought it was a letter from one of the many missionaries I am writing to support through their mission or just to say hello. I took it, looked at it, and literally screamed bloody murder. I almost started crying. After last night, I needed that. The Lord is obviously making me well aware that getting rid of Drew is a good thing and I am obviously being blessed for obeying promptings that I have been given. The letter contained amazing things that I needed to hear. I was super happy, and it totally made my day! Yay right? Yes Yay! I ♥ that kid so much.

I just got a letter, I just got a letter, I just got a letter...

Wonder who it's from?
TYLER! DUH! Omgsh. Who else would it be from that would be so important that it would be the title of my blog? I love my mommy for sending it so quickly! Thank you so much mom. You amaze me.

So it sounds like Tyler is having a great time. Kinda. He has 15 converts so far, and that makes me really happy. One of his friends is not obeying the Lord, and he's struggling. No one is writing him except sometimes his sister. That's really depressing. He wrote this one on the 14th of September though. So my weekly letters should start catching up with him really soon. That was really the only thing making him upset. He thought people had forgotten him. And he has a friend here who has decided to get angry with God and break every commandment possible. She is causing him a lot of pain and suffering. Does she not know you're not supposed to tell missionaries that stuff. I mean, I understand being a bit honest with what's going on, but you don't tell him something that is going to make him worry about you. UGH. He seems to be so close to Heavenly Father, it made me cry. I haven't seen him like that in a long time, and I really like the fact that he can be who he is now, and enjoy it. He says he's a crybaby now, but you know, when it comes to spiritual stuff, guys crying is hot :]

Speaking of spiritual stuff, Lindsey, Emily and I are going to the temple tomorrow. I'm excited. We didn't go on Saturday because we were too tired. :/ I know. Bad right? I have pretty good grades right now. To update you all here they are:
American Foundations: 78%. Not bad, plus I got a good grade on my last test, so this will go up.
Math: I have like... a 96% or something like that.
Book Of Mormon: I finally hit a B in this class! Yay!
Science: I dont know. It says I have a 100% but I know that is completely false.
English: I have like an 85% I believe?
Life Skills: 87%

Not bad in my opinion! Yay! It's so cold here though. Like, freezing. But we dont want to shut the windows or we might die of heat. I got all my homework done for tomorrow and Thursday. Why you ask? THE CONCERT IS TOMORROW! HECK YES! I'm so excited! hehe.
Well, Im gonna go shower so I can sleep before 1AM today :]

You people should text me and keep me busy.

♥346 days♥

Hello 6:30 AM

so, my test crashed on me tonight, so, because it's a "take it once, or you're screwed thing" I get lucky enough that it is reset, and I get to wake up at 6:30 :] I just spent 3 hours on one homework assignment for American Foundations as well. I'm getting pretty sick of that class. I have a huge headache, but that's okay right? It's 1:00AM, and I just finished homework. I had FHE tonight. That was a blasty blast though. We decided to stay and carve pumpkins and for some reason, they all left them here. So we're super decorative :]

I'm honestly looking forward to Thanksgiving. I want a break. And personally, I miss Bailey... A LOT! This is her...

Isn't that just the cutest dang face ever? She's my baby, and we have such a great connection. FREAKING A I MISS HER! I miss Fade a lot too though. That dog is amazing, and can make me feel so much better. Yes, I'm blogging about dogs. But you know what? That's whats on my mind.


I just thought I'd point something out to all of you who read my blog, and don't fully understand. I am not dating Drew. There is no label. No commitment. Although there are many many times where I feel I should. There are times where I want to. But, I know what I should be doing, and I cant risk falling for someone I'm not supposed to fall for. He's a great guy, and honestly, everything I want in someone, but I don't think he's the right one. So no, due to complete confusion on some family members part, I am not dating Drew. We are great friends, who have a blasty blast, and love spending time together. Got it? Good.

I really miss Tyler though. Like tons and tons and tons. Hopefully there will be a letter sitting in my mailbox at 12PM tomorrow. It will make me the happiest girl in the world :] YAY! It's finally cooling down here, and I like it. But, the flies are seeking refuge, and their refuge just so happens to be our dorm. And they attack, and bite, and it hurts. I bought makeup today, it made me happy. Oh, and oranges and water. I'm actually doing pretty well at eating well. Lindsey and I go on a walk everyday too.

We went to the library today. I checked out "As Always, Dave" by Jack Weyland. I wanted a different book of his, but it was checked out. Alright, well, I must go now. Good night. I miss you all. Hope you're doing well. You're all my favorite people.

Dunes of Sand... Sand Dunes baby!

For sure! Be jealous! NOW! The dunes are amazing. They are huge mounds of this really soft sand.

I didn't wake up until 12:30 this afternoon. Carolyn and I were up until 4:30am on Friday night. Well, Emily, Carolyn and I didn't get out of our pajamas until 6:30 this evening. I wrote 2 missionaries today. One being Tyler Smith OF COURSE! He has 349 days left until his return, and personally, I'm excited! I miss him a lot lately. I see pictures, and it makes me wanna give him a huge hug. Or at least talk to him on the phone. It would be amazing if his dad let me talk to him on Christmas. That would make me the happiest person EVER. Or let me talk to him on Mother's Day, but his mom died, so I don't know how that works.

Anyways. Drew, Brock, Alex, Carolyn, Emily, and I went to the Dunes tonight AFTER getting the movie Titanic, and Subway (eat fresh) I'm trying to watch my weight :] The freshman 1534839483 is really killin me here. But, we drove to the dunes, in the dark, set up blankets, stole someone's abandoned fire, and we watched Titanic on Carolyn's laptop. It was cold, but again, you can SEE EVERY STAR OUT THERE! It's so amazing. Carolyn's laptop died like 3/4 of the way through though. Oh well, we came home and watched the rest. Sad movie :/ I had to pee sooo bad on the way home. Like, I almost cried. Cops were giving out tickets for people parked on the shoulder of the dunes, luckily we got out of there. Stupid cops.

Anywho. I love this place. I know I keep saying that, but, I really do. So, Kaitlyn wanted to see ghost pictures. Here they are:

Drew and I were trying to pull off the "Zoolander look" I hated that movie. haha.

Which reminds me, I really want to see "Paranormal Activity." But, it's rated R :[ I think that would be a lot of fun to see. :]

I get to see my Aunt Lisa on Monday. Skipping FHE to drive to Idaho Falls where she has meetings. I guess we are gonna watch the Bronco game together since I don't have cable and cant follow up on that. Well, I'll show you some photos from last night on our 2AM walk. haha. JK. It was like... 12:45 AM.

Here you are:

So you have Lindsey and Emily doing a sexy pose, and then you have me in my "awkward" pose haha. IT WAS COLD.

Drew INSISTED that I give him a piggy back ride :p Na. I offered, and he didnt think I could. NEVER UNDERESTIMATE ME. :]





That's right. It's the girls. We are amazing. These girls are gonna be my besties for life haha.

Well, I'm off to bed :] 3 more days until the CONCERT! AHHH YAY! Tomorrow I'll show you some hilarious wedding vids. night. ILY

Walk Walk Walk.

Well, Lindsey and I went on a long walk tonight, and it was the best thing ever. I'm eating healthy, and walking, I guess that freshman 15 will slowly disappear.

Just thought I'd make it clear I LOVE LIFE! REALLY! I DO!

haha.My keyboard is still acting up... so, I'm gonna leave this at shortness. With a few photos of a paper chain we made to countdown to when Tyler comes home. 351 days :] NIGHT ILY

Homework Queen.

PSHHHH Yeah. Be jealous! I got it done, and it's only..... 11:47 PM :] I'm proud of myself pretty much.

How'd my day go hmm? Well, good. :] I was quite lazy today, and I wasnt feeling good. But, I'm feeling a tad bit better now. BTW, I dyed my hair yesterday. I dont know if I already said that in my last post? I dont know. But it's natural+brown. :] I like it pretty much! It's like, the bomb. You might be able to see it in some photos I post. But IDK. I had Wendy's for dinner. Yummy. But they left the chicken in for too long, so I ended up eating it with grilled chicken, but it wasnt too bad actually. I might get it next time.

I'm getting really homesick. Even with my mom continuing to piss me off and try to run my life. I'm living off campus. I don't like it here. And plus, there are WAY too many issues with stuff here. Everything breaks all the time. I want new apartments. Plus, they are really cute, and I would get my own room! Heck yes! I'm going to live with Em and Carolyn again though. But here, let me post the link http://www.meet-me-at-the-ridge.com/

Look at them :] They are pretty much amazing :] And only $30 more for Spring semester then what I'm paying right now. Im excited. Anyways, my downstairs neighbors are uber stupid, so, a lot of our neighbors decided to be really loud today. Including us. WE jumped up and down, and had a dance party. :] They always yell at us. Oh well.

Anyways, back to the homesickness. I do miss my mom. I do miss my sister, and surprisingly, I miss Post Falls. BUT! I found out Im flying to Denver for Thanksgiving instead of driving, so I'm super happy about that! I miss Bailey lots! And my dad and Sheryl. I hope my mom can come here soon though. I need her hugs. :P

Well, that's my day in a nutshell. Here are some recent photos... NIGHT.

P.S. I really miss Tyler. He needs to hurry up and make a year go by quicker. And I'm going to see an Apostle tomorrow. Crazy huh? :] Yay! Night.

Carolyn had a long night :p

I wanted to eat the garbage that knocked onto the floor.









Emily and Carolyn playing with bubbles :]











Haha. These are two of our FHE brothers. Daniel, and Mason. They each put on two snuggies and played with bubble wands.







And decided to go all Star Wars on us







Lindsey caught a bee in a cup against our window.












Lindsey and I in our snuggies!