So Much to Say...

Have you ever had so much to say, but don't feel like you can say it without running out of space? Do you feel like because you can't track or control who reads what you want to say, you really can't say what's on your mind? Yeah. I do that a lot. Hence why lately, my journal has been filling up like crazy. I have so much to say, no one to say it to. Well, I'm sure there are many people who would like to know, but in reality, they either don't care, don't understand, or just want some latest juicy gossip. I, however, will not give them that satisfaction. Life has become less complicated lately. Probably because I KNOW what I want. I don't have to think about facts and make my head spin any more.

I know what I want. I know where I'm going. I just need to know how to approach things without ruining everything. I know where I'm finally going in life, and I know what I want. The other question, is do I need to sacrifice a little bit of what I want and not be selfish? I think this, in reality would be the best thing to do. But if you think more deeply, maybe it's time to BE selfish and take what I want? I don't know. Whatever. Now I'm just making my head spin, and hurt at the same time.

Another thing that has been running through my head is my loyalty to Mormon Bachelor Pad. Now, I'm annoyed every time I read their posts. The "playing" of girls was funny at first. Now, not so much. I'm getting sick of the lame posts and the fact that they have nothing better to talk about then getting horizontal with a girl. Sure, you're not getting "down and dirty" but for crying out loud! It sounds like you boys are RUN by hormones. Has it ever occurred to you that girls like to be treated with respect every once in a while Calvin? Sure, they liked being kissed, but playing a girl is totally disrespectful. Jake, you need to get your act together buddy. Sanders is stupid for marrying you, if she does that is. I hope her eyes open up and she realizes that you couldn't support yourself, let alone her. Give me a break! Seriously.

Last but not least, have you ever wondered if someone thinks about you as much as you think about them? I'm not just talking about people you like. I'm talking family, friends, everyone. My mind goes crazy all day long since I sit here and do nothing. I think about what everyone is doing, and what they might be doing next. But yes, people that you like is a huge part of this concept. You think about them, what they are doing, when they will text you, etc. I've gotten lucky these last few days. It makes me happy when I don't have to text HIM, HE texts me. I know it's something little, but it lets me know that he is thinking about me every once in a while and he wants to talk. It's nice. I must say. ANYWAYS, I watched videos about the military (music videos) and it brought me to reality how hard that has to be. I have so much respect for those girls with guys in the military. It has to be incredibly hard. Plus, those young men that have so much courage to fight for a country and may not come back alive. I couldn't ever do that to be honest.

Well, the little sister wants me to get up early and straighten her hair. I should probably sleep. Night :]